Ivi Mallorca - Waiting for EZS

    Hello everyone,

    My husband and I have wanted to have a child for two years. After six cycles of GVnP, we had two ICSI attempts. In the first, the eggs were empty or immature, in the second, only one could be fertilized, but it failed on day 3. Unfortunately, my egg quality is very poor, despite pimp my eggs and TCM. My AMH is 0.27, I am 33 years old and my husband's spermiogram is normal. Even before the second ICSI, our doctor mentioned egg donation.

    We have been waiting for a suitable donor at IVI Mallorca since mid-August. The wait is slowly wearing me down, I have hardly any patience left and often feel like I'm running out of energy. It's especially hard because it feels like everyone around me is getting pregnant without any problems. During this time, all my friends have become pregnant or already have a child. I want to be happy, but instead all I feel is emptiness and longing for our own miracle.

    I ask myself so often how I can let go of the thoughts of wanting a child and just let it happen. How do you manage not to let it consume you completely?

    We talk openly with our family/friends, they sympathize, but no one can really understand. On the outside I often pretend that everything is fine, but on the inside it's completely different.

    Thank you for reading and for your tips or experiences. Kind regards

    Thank you for your honest and open message and welcome here.

    It is absolutely understandable that you are finding the wait difficult and that the many pregnancies around you are weighing you down. That doesn't mean that you don't want others to be happy, but it simply shows how great your own longing is at the moment. And that's human and allowed.

    The fact that you are already in the middle of the process and are now waiting for a donor is also great and a step in the next direction.

    It's probably not possible to let go of your thoughts completely, and maybe you don't have to. But small islands in everyday life where the desire to have children doesn't play the main role can be incredibly helpful. Be it a hobby, a walk, a nice conversation or something that brings you joy. This will give you the strength to get through the waiting time better.

    You are not alone with these feelings. Many of us know exactly this mixture of longing, hope, patience and sadness. And it's completely okay if you're not always strong. Sometimes it's enough just to get through the day.

    Always keep in mind: there is hope and you are already on your way there. 💚