Fear and possibly a change

Teska · June 6, 2025 at 2:47 PM

Hello everyone,

Our worm's heart stopped beating in the 8SSW, but this was only discovered on May 22nd and I had the scraping on May 23rd. I'm still waiting for the pathology report, but I'm still wondering.

We got our EZS from DK and so far I've been really happy with the clinic. We still have one blasto frozen. When did you dare to have a second transfer? And how did you deal with the fear? If everything is okay in my body, we're aiming for the beginning of August, because then we'll be on vacation and can go to DK.

On the other hand, if things go wrong again, I'm also thinking about changing clinics, e.g. going to the Czech Republic. Just because of the costs alone. DK always came first for us because we can drive there by car (500 km) and because of the open donation. I'm just afraid that it will go wrong, because it also went wrong with the first blasto from the donor. Do you know what I mean?

In DK I was examined once in advance via ultrasound, all other examinations took place in Germany at the KIWU. I always sent the blood results and ultrasound results to DK by email. My husband's sperm was examined a little more.

Now I'm always reading along diligently here and am sometimes really overwhelmed by all the terms and examinations that are mentioned by many and that are always only mentioned in connection with clinics in the Czech Republic.

What is your opinion?

Saasa · June 6, 2025 at 3:41 PM

Hello Teska,

unfortunately I can't give you any advice, I'm only at the very beginning of this journey myself.

But I would like to wish you lots of strength and hope that someone here can help 💐

Purehaeven · June 6, 2025 at 8:06 PM

Dear Teska,

I can understand your fear.

We always felt the same way in Germany. At some point I no longer wanted my polar bears because I had two miscarriages from the frozen blastos.
The blastos always looked great and yet they were apparently not ok.

We had the second embryo (MA 10.SSW) examined and there were two trisomies.

On the other hand, I couldn't discard my polar bears either and took them back...but was almost always happy when it just didn't work out...anything better than another miscarriage...needless to say what that means emotionally !!!!

We then went to the Czech Republic. We also looked at Spain... but we didn't like the clinic there.

I think Denmark with an open donation is great, but it wouldn't have been an option for us because, as in Germany, genetic testing is not possible there either.

I have already mentioned it in many places - our donor in the Czech Republic is 32. We had 9 blastos tested and 2 were not OK (one blasto was even a 5AA)... I could have had exactly that and I don't even want to know what would have happened then...

I am so grateful and happy that genetic testing is possible in some countries and would do it again and again!

LG (37 WEEKS PREGNANT)

Purehaeven · June 6, 2025 at 8:16 PM

One more question for you - which studies do you mean that you have read in connection with the Czech Republic?

Teska · June 6, 2025 at 8:43 PM

Purehaeven

I read here in the forum that in the Czech Republic both the recipient and the donor undergo more in-depth examinations.

We were not told the classification of the blasto in DK, but I have to say we didn't ask either.

As I said, I can't say anything negative about DK and I'm also glad that the first attempt was a success, even if it wasn't successful to the end. Of course it's hell emotionally, which is why I'm worried about the second attempt.

I'm looking forward to the pathology report in the hope of finding an answer there.

37 weeks pregnant, how beautiful💜

Did your first attempt in the Czech Republic work straight away ???? And if not, how long did you wait between attempts?

LG

C+C_Schmid · June 6, 2025 at 8:46 PM Official Post

Teska

We are very sorry for you. Unfortunately, Denmark is somewhat regulated when it comes to embryo testing.
However, we think that it is more about your examinations. Unfortunately, a lot of clinics have to come up against this, but this is not only true for Denmark and other clinics want too many examinations, which is often only offered for financial reasons.

What does your clinic generally say, do they have any ideas or suspicions?
Do you have any information from the donor? Has she donated successfully before?

LG

Claudia & Chris

Purehaeven · June 6, 2025 at 9:13 PM

Of course, the donor had to undergo certain examinations that are standard there.

I only had a normal gynecological examination ... but I am not aware of any examination that has not already been carried out in Germany (concerning me personally) ...

And then the first transfer worked - I would never have expected that!!!

Purehaeven · June 6, 2025 at 9:18 PM

I see - did you order a special examination of the embryo?

As far as I know, the "normal" pathological examination of the clinic where the scraping took place does not examine the genetics ... only special genetic laboratories do that ...

Teska · June 6, 2025 at 9:45 PM

Purehaeven no, we didn't order a special investigation, we didn't know that it had to be done. We thought it would be done automatically. Perhaps we are sometimes too naive, but how is the average person supposed to know all this? And when you're sitting there and it's confirmed again that it's an MA, you're quickly overwhelmed, as you unfortunately know.

C+C_Schmid the clinic has not yet commented on this, they would like to have the pathology report, our donor was 22 at the time of the donation and had never donated before. I only know that the embryologist was totally enthusiastic about the development of our blasto. She kept repeating this when we were there for the implantation. What do you mean by "it's more about my tests"? My GBM is fine, I just have no more eggs due to premature menopause. The Dr here examined me closely beforehand and always checked all my values, only then he was no longer allowed to do so because the Kiwu with heartbeat is no longer allowed to examine me. The normal gynaecologist didn't classify me as a high-risk pregnancy, he didn't even fill out my maternity record properly (no blood group entered etc.) We also had a serious discussion about the week of pregnancy.

I have a check-up appointment at the KiWu on Wednesday and will talk to the doctor there. And then, if necessary, send the relevant questions to DK.

C+C_Schmid · June 6, 2025 at 10:43 PM Official Post

Teska You and your body also need to be properly prepared, which is very important. For example, was your thyroid properly adjusted or was it checked beforehand?

LG

Claudia & Chris

Teska · June 7, 2025 at 7:14 AM

C+C_Schmid yes, the Dr of Kiwu did that, he took blood every time and checked all the values, I always sent the results to Dk by email.

When I had to go to the regular gyn after the 6th week, he did take my blood, but then I didn't have the next appointment until 4 weeks later and shortly after the first appointment my baby died

Purehaeven · June 7, 2025 at 7:48 AM

Good morning Teska,

Every human geneticist, but also the gynecologists, have told us that in the case of premature abortions (i.e. before the 12th week of pregnancy) there is a very high probability that there was a chromosomal problem.
Of course, your own values should also be correct, but these are examined by the fertility clinics and at the latest by the gynecologists when a pregnancy has occurred.

Of course, you can still think about very specific problems such as immunology etc. if there has been an abortion.

I think August would be a good month for a new transfer.

A break of 3 months is absolutely sufficient. Has your HCG value dropped below 5 again?

Normally you then try to get your cycle back to normal, which in your case is regulated by hormones ... of course I don't know how and when to start ?!

Teska · June 7, 2025 at 5:53 PM

Purehaeven thank you for your answer.

Last week Wednesday it had already dropped significantly but was not yet within the normal range, next Wednesday I have to go back to the Kiwu and have blood taken. I think the remaining fluid is just leaving my uterus, at least I have discharge. The Dr there also assumes a chromosome problem.

I think my fear of having to go through the same thing again is taking up a lot of space at the moment and I am therefore looking for answers, help, advice etc.

Purehaeven · June 7, 2025 at 9:25 PM

If you've had to go through this once or even several times, the fear won't let you go anyway.
You have memories, draw comparisons, get triggered ... even my gynecologist's office triggers me, the gynecological chair where it was diagnosed back then and so much more!

But I didn't want to change my gynecologist because I think she's great...

Ultimately, you have to ask yourself whether you could "leave" or "discard" your polar bear, in which you have of course invested a lot (I don't know the legal regulations).

If you can't, then the only thing you can do is hope and believe that "it" is healthy and will bring you your baby.

I don't know how old your husband/partner is, but the donor is really young and should still have fresh and healthy eggs !!!!!
(What surprises me a bit is the result - two blastos ? are very few at that age ... how are the women in Denmark stimulated ?!)

What does your partner/husband think about the subject?

LG

C+C_Schmid · June 7, 2025 at 10:34 PM Official Post

Purehaeven You're right, that's really very little, could indicate a sperm problem. Was the spermiogram okay?

Teska · June 8, 2025 at 1:49 PM

The spermiogram was fine, which was also examined by the Kiwu here. There was nothing to complain about.

According to the contract with the clinic in DK, the sperm is only used if it is of a certain quality, which was the case.

A total of 13 eggs were retrieved, 5 were fertilized and 2 were frozen.

My partner doesn't want it to be a "never-ending story". Yes, I understand that and I see it that way too, it's a massive burden, both financially and psychologically. I'm going to talk to the Dr here again on Wednesday, I trust him and want to hear his opinion.

We will definitely take the Blasto that is still there.

Purehaeven · June 8, 2025 at 2:21 PM

It's an inner feeling and you know your path and you'll go it with the faith and hope that everything will be fine this time... of course there will be fears and doubts, but "we all" have to do the same... think good thoughts, push away fears again and again and believe in the miracle !!!!

And what you have already achieved directly - you got pregnant without your own cycle!!!!

Just to understand... the donor had 13 eggs... which is already good...

Then 5 eggs could be fertilized? The fertilization rate is definitely not good and in my opinion indicates that something is wrong on one side or the other!

And of the 5 fertilized eggs, two developed into blastocysts and were frozen?!

We always had these fertilization and development rates with my own eggs and I was already really "old" 😉... and we knew that my age was working against us. It should definitely be different with egg donation.

We achieved a really good result in Prague and the facts were as follows:

- Donor 32 years old

- Spermiogram from my husband - ok - not mega good, but not bad either

- 13 eggs

- 11 could be fertilized

- 9 blastos, 3 of which were genetically defective

- 6 blastocysts frozen

Teska · June 8, 2025 at 6:03 PM

Exactly what you wrote about our eggs and fertilization.

I was also shocked at the time that there were only two in the end, but then I didn't go into it any further because I got pregnant and thought everything was fine.

You can't say "that's not enough for me, I want my money back or another donor to get more blastos" I think the contract even says that only one blasto is guaranteed.

As for the non-existent cycle, I'm very proud of my body for putting up with it all, all the medication and so on. And it also took good care of our worm and accepted it, which is worth a lot

C+C_Schmid · June 8, 2025 at 10:04 PM Official Post

The fertilization is really not normal, as Purehaeven wrote, this indicates a problem.

Have you ever asked your clinic why? You could ask your clinic for the protocol on the development of your embryos, perhaps they will recognize something there.

LG

Claudia & Chris

Purehaeven · June 9, 2025 at 12:38 AM

.... A guaranteed Blasto is of course very meager ... but in fact what can you do unless you have a guarantee package ...

But for now you have to concentrate on your body anyway ... that it regenerates well and does such a great "job" again next time - the ✊🏻 are pressed !!!!