Anonymous donation

Yassi81 · May 25, 2024 at 9:56 AM

Hello everyone,

Both the forum and the topic of EZS are new to me, I hope I'm putting the posts in the right forums.

We are in the last attempt with our own EZ in D and the last way would be an EZS. I don't know yet if I can go down that route, but if we do, it's clear to us that we want to have an anonymous donation.

We wouldn't want to tell anyone about our decision, not even the child. Is there anyone who has done the same? Or is this morally reprehensible?

Do I have to inform my doctor in Germany or later the clinic about the EZS?

Is there anything to be considered legally with an EZS?

The topic is not yet so tangible for me, I hope nobody misunderstands my questions.

LG Yassi

AuI · May 25, 2024 at 10:10 AM

As far as I know, you don't have to tell anyone, but it would be advisable because in my opinion a) it's still a high-risk pregnancy, e.g. due to age and b) German doctors aren't stupid and if, for example (which I'm guessing from your name 81), a woman aged 43/44 gets pregnant, that's slightly unusual...

We wouldn't tell anyone either, except the doctor treating you in Germany.

Whether we would tell the child, we are still ambivalent, but since there is no child yet, we are still putting the answer to that at the back of our minds...

Yassi81 · May 25, 2024 at 11:00 AM

My doctor knows that I am undergoing treatment at Kiwu, and I have no problem with that, but I wouldn't want to say that it was an ECS.

Are the risks during pregnancy higher with EZS than with my own EZ at 43?

Conby · May 25, 2024 at 12:58 PM

Hello Yassi81, the risks with an EZS can be higher due to the fact that the embryo is genetically completely foreign. The risk of pre-eclampsia is higher. I told my gynaecologist and she wasn't judgmental at all. I think it's actually more common than we think and not that exotic for doctors. Even in the hospital where we went to give birth, I told them about it in the pre-birth talk. This can have an influence on the type of treatment. My gynaecologist did an ultrasound every time we had a check-up to check the blood flow. I don't know whether she would have done the same with a "normal" high-risk pregnancy. But ultimately no one can force you to say it. I just want to encourage you that I didn't feel like I was judged for it. Even though the hospital is in a small town.

C+C_Schmid · May 25, 2024 at 3:11 PM Official Post

Quote from Yassi81

Hello everyone,
Both the forum and the topic of EZS are new to me, I hope I'm putting the posts in the right forums.
We are in the last attempt with our own EZ in D and the last way would be an EZS. I don't know yet if I can go down that route, but if we do, it's clear to us that we want to have an anonymous donation.
We wouldn't want to tell anyone about our decision, not even the child. Is there anyone who has done the same? Or is this morally reprehensible?
Do I have to inform my doctor in Germany or later the clinic about the EZS?
Is there anything to be considered legally with an EZS?
The topic is not yet so tangible for me, I hope nobody misunderstands my questions.
LG Yassi

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Yassi81 Welcome to the forum.

You don't have to tell anyone about your egg donation, but in our opinion it makes sense if at least your doctor knows about it.

There is also nothing wrong if you don't want to tell anyone, it is and remains your decision and no one can talk you into it.

You can get information from a few clinics in advance, this is always non-binding. We can give you one more tip, as we have partner clinics this year that have a special discount for our visitors/followers and members. If you write to these clinics using the relevant contact form, you can secure a discount for a possible treatment. You do not have to go to this clinic, you are free to do so, but if you go there, you have already secured a discount. By the way, we don't get anything out of it, we don't receive any commission, just because we are asked that again and again.

LG

Chris

Nini · June 22, 2024 at 11:33 PM

Hello Yassin,

Of course it is your decision whether or not you want to tell anyone about the donation. However, there are good reasons to tell the child as early as possible. If the child were to find out later (as an adolescent or adult) by chance, for example because of genetic testing, incompatible blood groups, documents found or similar, then this could mean a major breach of trust and an identity crisis for the child. If you would like to read more about this, take a look at https://www.spenderkinder.de/, which is an association by and for people who have been conceived through sperm and egg donation and who formulate their interests very clearly.

Sala · July 22, 2024 at 11:07 PM

Liebe yassi,

meine FÄ und die Klinik haben das Risiko mit EZS höher eingeschätzt und mich dadurch engmaschiger betreut- was ich gut fand. Die Klinik hatte im Aufnahmebogen direkt die Frage ob EZSpende mit drin. Die Pränataldiagnostikerin hat als erstes gefragt, ob es EZS war (aufgrund meines Alters, ich war aber schon ü50). Ich will dir damit keine Angst machen, sondern fand das erleichternd im Umgang. Die Kiwu-Ärzte sind international vernetzt und für alle die ich traf war EZS kein Tabu.

Ich persönlich werde den offenen Weg gehen, damit es keinen Vertrauensbruch & kein Geheimnis mit dem Kind gibt. Ich verstehe aber auch, wenn es andere anders machen. Kenne auch eine Frau, die es komplett geheim hält.

lieber Gruß,

Sala

Nini747 · August 11, 2024 at 5:20 PM

Hallo Yassi,

meine Vorrednerinnen haben schon alles ausreichend erläutert

Aus medizinischen Gründen müsstest du das dem medizinischen Personal erzählen. Und ansonsten ist es deine Entscheidung. Nur musst du aber daran denken, dass bei einem medizinischen Unfall wenn Tests gemacht werden, dein Kind in der Zukunft das rausfinden könnte. Oder wenn er seine DNA Probe bei Ancestry.com einschickt. Wenn du weiß, wie du Situation handhaben wirst, dann bist du auf der sicheren Seite.