Let's go, part 2?!

And on the subject of implantation bleeding: I didn't have any real bleeding either, just spotting on TF+10. We don't know exactly where it came from. It was also super light.
LG

If successful on day 24 (or day 21 after starting oestrogen intake). Oestrogen patch.

The current one: ZT 21 or day 19 after the start of oestrogen intake. Oestrogen tablets.

August 2023: ZT 25 (day 22). Oestrogen patch

December 2023: ZT 21 (DAY 19). Oestrogen patch

July 2025: day 22 (20). Oestrogen tablets

Well, the Clearblue early test on TF+6 is spotlessly white. So that's probably it for one sibling...

Dear Nini, no, that doesn't necessarily mean anything. TF+6 is still very early. I had also tested at TF+6 with a 10 test with my 2nd SSf. Not a hint of a line was visible. Two days later it was positive. Just try again on TF+8 or TF+9. Fingers are still crossed.

Really, Conby? I thought TF+6 was already pretty certain. The clear blood test says 96% certainty for "absence of menstruation minus 5 days", which should be about TF+6... But well, I still have to take the medication anyway...

According to the HCG tables on the internet, a 10 is only safe from ovulation plus 12. So you have to subtract 5 days, because of TF of the blasto it would be TF +7. I had TF on a Thursday and then tested for it on Wednesday, even noticed symptoms, so we were sure that it had to be positive and had also taken morning urine. And the test was spotlessly white. I really doubted myself then. I waited 2 days and tested again with a pink presense from DM (also available from rossmann). Then it was clearly positive. Don't give up yet.

I've owed you an update for a long time and just haven't gotten around to it.

After the negative test last time and this whole time full of ups and downs and not being at home, but with my parents-in-law, the Deuck, because I knew: after that it's basically over, the last Blasto really has almost no chance - that did a lot to me. I hadn't been this down for a long time and was generally hopeless and sad.

I had long talks with the clinic and in the end I managed to get them to ask the donor again, but without the guarantee program. She only had 6 eggs left and then of course they don't guarantee 4 blastos... They didn't give me any hope that she would still be in the same life situation after 2.5 years and would be willing to donate again. But: 2 days later it was clear: she's doing it, she's on the pill, she's going straight away. I couldn't believe my luck.

How great is that, please? There's a woman who spontaneously drops everything for me to help me.

I started building up SH again and was full of hope. Of course we don't expect miracles, but we thought that with 1-2 medium quality blastos we would significantly increase the possibility of becoming parents again. I have been floating for the last 2 weeks...

Thursday was US: 1.08cm SH. So optimal. Unfortunately, there is also a bit of free fluid in the abdomen. No idea of what. I don't have real ovaries...

I hope it's just the medication. But it's not much.

Friday then the shock: US of the donor: only 4 follicles. None mature, all only at 7mm. We all know that 4 follicles are nothing. 4 follicles does not mean 4 eggs. It does not mean that all of them can be punctured. Or even fertilized. Or even become a blastocyst. It was a slap in the face. But the fact that all 4 are still so small is devastating. She will now be stimulated even more until Tuesday.

But looking at it realistically: my SH is too far gone to wait for them. Puncture would be Thursday at the earliest, i.e. TF not until Tuesday after next. Until then, my SH is too high.

With so few prospects, with so little material, every TF really has to fit. Have 100% optimal conditions. If we get a blastocyst at all, I don't want to waste it on a SH that is over it.

That means 2 options: either abortion, all medication for nothing.

Or take the last bad blastocyst and go to the TF on Friday when my SH is perfect.

If there are no new ones, we will be annoyed if the cycle is not used... but in view of the fact that we wanted to avoid exactly that and have paid tens of thousands of euros for it again, it's so bitter.

We have to invest in the KET again, pay for the progesterone, make the long journey,.... and the possibility that this TF is the last, that the new donation was completely in vain and nothing happens..... increases the pressure immeasurably again.

The idea was to relieve the pressure for me with the new donation. To give me a bit of breathing space.

But I have the feeling that no matter what we do, no matter what we're prepared to give - it's getting tighter and tighter

Money simply can't buy everything. You also have to be lucky. But so much bad luck....?

I'm really down. And then I think of you, Nini where it's also so hard....

Sorry for all the spelling mistakes. I'm being challenged and if I don't send it unread now, I'll never write....

Dear Fly, I am so sorry that everything just seems to be going so wrong for you at the moment... Despite everything, you are so open and helpful here in the forum, you responded so quickly to my first inquiry and made things easier for me straight away. Thank you very much for that! All that remains for me to do is to wish you good luck despite everything. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you as hard as I can

Dear Fly, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you and thinking of you.
I haven't read up on this at all, but when/how can the SH be "over"? I kind of thought there was an option to "hold it" and it can wait until time x while you're not on progesterone yet.

As long as you use Estrifam, it will grow. 10-12mm is optimal for a transfer. Up to 14mm I think it is really good. After that, the quality decreases again and implantation becomes more difficult.

Dear Fly, that was really a nerve-wracking up and down with you, and then it ended (for the time being) at the bottom of the "down"... I'm sorry to hear that. Is there any news yet? Have the follicles developed? If no blasto develops at all or even nothing can be punctured, you don't have to pay anything, do you?

I'm afraid the only thing that would really take the pressure off you would be if your boyfriend reconsidered his decision to have a "full-term sibling only"... Then you would basically have a great chance of having a second child!

Well, I'm TF+8 and the test is still negative...

Let's see if we can still find the strength to carry on. A first step would be to have the plasma cells tested again. If they are still there after the targeted antibiotic treatment, i.e. persistent, then perhaps there is no point in continuing anyway. Then, according to studies, the pregnancy rate is only 7% or so. If they are gone, there might still be a chance, but it also depends on what my husband would be prepared to do now. I'm thinking about double donation, for example, because I'm beginning to think it might be down to the embryos and therefore the sperm. But so far he's ruled that out. But I no longer have the strength to "carry on as before" and I don't see the point...

I'm definitely going to order the book "My fabulous only child"... Somehow you have to start saying goodbye...

Your sad Nini

Dear Nini, I'm really very sorry... I would have liked you to be. The plasma cell thing is definitely worth checking. But if you are unsure about the embryos, maybe PGT-A would be an option! That is, if you can and want to try again.

I could tell you now that contrary to every stereotype, only children are not spoiled, spoiled or unhappy, but that's not the point. The point is the grief over an overcrowded desire to have children, regardless of whether there is already a child. I hope that you find a way that you want to and can go.

Thank you, Conby. In principle, PGT-A would also be a possibility, I had already considered it, but as far as I've seen from others in the forum, the combination of open donation and PGT-A doesn't or hardly ever exists. Not in DK in any case. I don't know yet whether we want to move away from open donation in order to increase our chances - so far, anonymous donation has not been an option for us.

I'm also very sorry to read that. It's simply unfair how difficult it is for some people.

You muster up the strength and courage time after time. And then you're disappointed. I'm so terribly sorry for you

Oh dear ones, I am so sorry for you!

Dear Nini, I'm also very sorry that it didn't work out again. I was really hoping for you. I was also at the point where I was trying to come to terms with the fact that my son would remain an only child. I thought it would get easier with time, tried to look on the bright side and talked to only child mothers. That gave me comfort, but the desire kept coming back. It's really hard. We took a year off, sorted ourselves out and then started again. I just hope that you find a good path for yourselves.

Dear Fliege, oh man, that really can't be true. So nice that the donor has agreed to do it again! And then this...! I don't know what I would do either... Probably try the last blasto and hope that the donor will at least have a good blasto. What is Prague's advice?

We are now on our way to Prague.

In the middle of the night, we couldn't leave until late because we had an appointment with my husband. And tomorrow we wouldn't make it on time, so we're now driving with a stop.

Tomorrow is TF of the 2CB Blasto.

Have a good trip and fingers crossed!

PUPO 🥰

Fingers crossed!

A question for all of you who have already had a transfer: How long did your mucosa take to build up? I'm on day 10 of medication preparation today (taking 2mg 3x daily Estrofem plus 1mg 2x daily gel) and mine is just 3.5 mm. I'm really disillusioned at the moment and very worried that it won't build up.

I'm extremely surprised right now, because in the past in "normal" hormone replacement therapy cycles I sometimes had 5mm with a much lower dose...