Let's go, part 2?!

I don't think that's right! We pay so much money and the fact that they don't even address 2 medical points that you have announced and explained in writing is really weak. And it's also not okay to have to fight for a consultation when you're a patient. I am very curious to see what he will say on Friday. Maybe they just have enough patients/customers and don't need to make any more effort...

LG

Yes, I think so too, that they have enough patients. They have also just opened a second clinic in Odense, so business seems to be going well. When we went to Aagaard for our first consultation 6 years ago, it was still with the old Dr. Aagaard himself, it was very different, he took his time, explained a lot, only ever offered evidence-based treatments, etc. But he retired soon afterwards. But he retired soon afterwards. The new head physician, Dr. Cissé, somehow always seems to be in a hurry, short-winded and superficial...

This explains the decline in the quality of advice in recent years...

Dr. Cissé has just topped it again. In response to his reply that the findings were in German and he couldn't read them, I asked him again specifically for an individual assessment of my findings and my chances. And what did he answer me with? With a - presumably AI-generated - summary of the study situation... Let's see how the consultation on Friday turns out, if it takes place at all...

I just feel like crying right now. The attempt was probably in vain. And I just want to get pregnant successfully one more time and then finally leave all this crap behind me...

Dear Nini, I can understand how you feel! But sometimes I think to myself: if the plasma cells were soooo crucial, they would always have to be tested before a TF. DK didn't mention that in my case, only HSK as a diagnostic if necessary...

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for the interview and for this attempt! 🍀

LG

I can understand your frustration so well. It makes you feel so helpless and bad and can make everything so negative.

My clinic, for example, only ever gives half answers. I ask 5 questions, 2 are answered. The uncomfortable ones are ignored. Requests to speak to a doctor are ignored without comment. I'm actually happy there, but the communication gets me down and I feel at the mercy of the clinic.

Nevertheless: please don't cancel the attempt yet. Brood. Otherwise you'll end up with the feeling that you haven't done everything. I always manifest Pupo.

When can you test?

Dear Nini, I can also understand your frustration very well. First of all, I wish you every success in making it work. 2. however, I would also like to say in a non-judgmental way that your message also made me angry. As far as I know, your first transfer worked immediately if I remember correctly (daughter)

We have already needed 6 attempts for our son and were not lucky enough for it to work the first time. In other words, we have already spent a lot of money here.

Our son, who is the love of our lives, asks "Mom - why doesn't the stork bring a baby for us mom and dad" or "Mom, there should be a baby in your belly" he has been asking that for a long time.

We've been trying for a sibling since 2022. It worked right away - but unfortunately MA after seeing the heartbeat. Pure trauma.

2023 immediately again but unfortunately bad luck pure ectopic pregnancy. I am sensitive to pain and it was very close - could have turned out differently....

2024 4 x no implantation

2025 1x no implantation

Then finally another implantation SS test positive - HCG does not rise adequately - only doubles sometimes

And yes - just like you, I just want to get pregnant successfully one more time and then finally leave all this crap behind me... give him a healthy baby for my son.... finally.... We would then be complete. Unlike us, you certainly still have enough reserves, are younger, 0 after it worked out so quickly with the first child. We also have to say stop very soon from a financial point of view. Because so much money has already been lost on this long, rocky road.

The third hysteroscopy also showed that everything looks good. No apparent reasons for implantation failure. Nothing disturbing in the uterine cavity, no endometriosis endometritis polyps..... Biopsies CD 138 Microbiome Immunology everything in order. KIR HLA tested. I am missing 3 important genes. This has been known before /with my son and is /was treated with intralipid/granocyte/prednisone.

I also know a couple from my previous clinic who had to give up on the sibling project due to lack of money and many attempts.

It is so hard. But it's probably not enough to want to. It takes so much. Someone else up there will probably decide what's best for us. And we have to learn to deal with it, no matter how it turns out.

I still firmly believe that our second miracle will happen and we will have a healthy sibling.

Dear Fliege81,

I'm sorry that my post made you angry, of course that wasn't my intention. If I understand you correctly, you perceive my post or my story as "whining on a high level" and think that your burden is much heavier to carry than mine. Perhaps this is objectively true - if you can objectively compare anything at all with all our different journeys to having children. However, I would ask you to bear in mind that the carriers of the packages in this community are all differently strong and resilient, find different levels of support in their social networks, have different financial reserves, etc., so in my opinion it is not up to any of us to judge the heaviness or lightness of the packages of the others.

Specifically to your assumptions: Our financial reserves are unfortunately depleted as well. We have already sunk around 15,000 euros into the sibling trial since 2023 and have only received four trials in return, the third of which is currently underway. We had to wait over a year for the current donor, and 1.5 years have passed since the last transfer - a grueling wait. In almost the same time, you've had the chance to get pregnant 8 times! If I had had that many attempts, it might have been easier for me to accept a definitive negative. But after only four attempts...? And maybe I'm younger, but the age gap to the sibling is similar, my four-year-old daughter also regularly asks for a sibling, and at some point the age gap might become too big for an intimate sibling relationship...

In addition to the "professional" exchange, many users also use this forum as an outlet for all the feelings that arise, the frustration, the fear, the sadness, the anger - including me. Precisely because I, like probably many others, can only talk about it with a few people in the "real world" and experience little understanding. If my expressions of emotion (my "whining") make you too angry, you can decide for yourself whether you want to read them or not.

In any case, I wish you that your second miracle will become reality and I admire your perseverance and hope! It has already worked for you on the 6th try, maybe it will work this time on the 9th try!

All the best,

Nini

Now to the conversation with Dr. Cissé:

With regard to plasma cells, he actually said that this was not being investigated at all in DK. In his opinion, the study situation was too thin to draw any real conclusions. I should do the recommended antibiotic therapy before the next transfer, but he couldn't tell me any more about it as it wasn't his area of expertise. Well. That reassures me a little. But only a little.

When I asked him what else he would recommend if it didn't work again, he then suggested various treatments and tests (which he also said were not sufficiently evidence-based), including the ERA test, which he had told me himself in our last conversation at the beginning of 2024 that he thought it was just a money-making exercise. What should I make of this now?

He also suggested two methods that really confused me: Namely, downregulation either with two months of birth control pills or with Solutex injections twice 4 weeks apart, which is a GnRH antagonist. Both are normally used to downregulate the body's own hormone production, e.g. in endometriosis. This indication wouldn't make any sense for me as I don't have any endogenous hormone production. However, he explicitly recommended it for "downregulation of the immune system". Have you ever heard of this?

Nini briefly: it should mean in particular that YOU should believe in your sibling miracle instead of being frustrated and trying to tick it off from the start that was probably a bit wrongly expressed with anger. i try to take the stress out for myself by being grateful - for what i have - of course it doesn't always work tip of my husband.... am an only child myself and never wanted to be. That also plays a big role

Nini:

Thank you very much for your detailed feedback. Interesting about the plasma cells. Here in Germany, a lot of research is being done on this in Jena and it is very important in the clinics, whereas in Denmark it is ignored. But that's also how it seemed to me in my clinic in DK, so it seems to be more due to the country.
I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!
LG

PS: and I haven't heard of downregulation of the immune system without endo- or adenomyosis.
I wouldn't do the ERA test either. It seems to be the last straw if the doctor didn't think much of it beforehand. And the study situation is not clear either.

I did a first early test this morning (transfer+5): negative. I know it's still very early, could be false negative. Let's see...

Somehow I've been feeling sick all the time for a few days, could it be the Prolutex? I didn't have that with the other transfers. However, I am also sleeping very badly at the moment, psychologically or perhaps also due to the Prolutex - perhaps the nausea is also due to lack of sleep...

Oh gosh, I always thought it was bad when the test at TF +5 was snow white. I'll keep my fingers crossed for the next few days! 🍀

I have no experience with Prolutex...

Dear Nini,

I only had the local injection reactions with Prolutex. Tiredness and nausea only came with the pregnancy - about 10 days after TF it slowly started.

This staring at the white test field always got me down too. I'm keeping both fingers crossed for you🍀, something can still show up.

Best wishes, Peanuts.78

So, at TF+8 the early test is still snow-white. That's probably it.

Tomorrow is the blood test, then I'll probably take a break for one cycle and take the antibiotic against bacteria/plasma cells and then we'll start the last attempt. If that doesn't work either, I don't know if we'll have the money, energy and nerves to wait for a new donor at a new clinic...

Maybe I'll have a look around other forums on the subject of long-term foster children and adoption as a precaution...

I should have just canceled this attempt when the plasma cell results came back. I was just too impatient and too stubborn...my own fault!

Good morning Nini,

First of all, I wish you a lot of strength and hope that the blood results say something different.

It is completely normal to be impatient after a long battle and you also ask yourself - why does it work for others after the first transfer and not for me?

Even though I can't speak from personal experience, this is a result that nobody in our situation wants.

What I've read here is that the clinic didn't really respond to this either. Unfortunately, you always have to keep in mind that this is also a business 😣

Maybe consider a new clinic?

Give yourself a hug

Particularly bad timing this time: Tomorrow we're going to a family weekend with the whole extended family, most of whom know about our attempt and where I'll have to listen to 15 well-meaning remarks like "Oh well, you already have a great child!" or "Maybe it's just not meant to be..."...

Yes, we are planning to change clinics, if we try again at all...

I actually think that the family doesn't mean you any harm and can't understand your struggle or anything similar.

You also have to ask yourself what would be an appropriate reaction from the others?

Actually, they can only screw it up, no matter what they say or do 😣

How many attempts did you have in the end, in which clinic? And what would be an option for you? Also due to age, cost, distance.

Give me a hug 🍀